That Time I Went Whole30 - Day 1

Day 1 of the Whole 30 and I was here to kick some ass.

I was prepped, the refrigerator was ridiculously full, I was fretting over whether or not all the produce would go bad before we could consume it, and I had already done so many dishes. A good start!

To top it all off, I made homemade MAYO, you guys!

Pictured right next to my homemade Whole 30 compliant BBQ sauce which really didn't taste like BBQ sauce, but could pass as a pretty tangy ketchup and I'm pretty faked out by it so we will call it good.

I don't even LIKE mayonnaise. The sight of it alone usually triggers my gag reflex. But I know (from so many failed experiences) that you NEED condiments to make it through these 30 days. Avocado and guacamole can only get you so far. I also know that dipping foods in sauces is my favorite thing. Mayo is a good base for a lot of dips and aiolis. And when you also also know the nearest place you can actually purchase compliant condiments is a Whole Foods 40 miles away, and you are recovering financially from the holidays/family court battles/car accidents (like WTF Q4 2018), and the thought of spending $8 on a tiny jar of mayo makes you cringe, you do the damn thing in the kitchen.

#whole30hero on day one, you guys.

My low point of the day was at the very, very end. Peyton wanted ice cream for dessert and was super stoked about the "Birthday Party" flavor Pearl had picked out over the weekend. It has these weird pastel-colored pieces of what I can assume are cake, but I don't really understand what it is, exactly. It MELTS like ice cream, but it LOOKS like cake. Peyton swears that it is cake. I disagree. It makes me uneasy. It's a shapeshifter and therefore not to be trusted.

I would not have usually even entertained the idea of eating such an abomination, but as I was scooping it out of the carton and into Peyton's bowl, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this deep, profound, visceral reaction that I NEEDED TO LICK THE SPOON. Maybe even eat a scoop myself? The urge to put that ice cream in my mouth was so intense. I had to physically breathe through, put the lid on it, and throw that sucker back in the freezer with a quickness. I also considered padlocking the freezer door until the morning.

Sugar Dragon, I see you. Thy name is evil.

Walt was introduced to the concept of chia seed pudding, which I'm glad I prepped as an emergency snack because I needed it after the painful and ridiculous lure of questionable ice cream. Admittedly, I am not sure how Walt feels about chia seed pudding. I think he thinks I am some sort of weird hippie and now his future is just seeds that turn into slime when they're soaked in almond milk.

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The Prep Post