Mission: Finding the Calm in the Crazy

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A fun fact about me: I put too much pressure on myself.

Another fun fact about me: the pressure I put on myself is ALWAYS the reason I completely lose it sometimes.

So I guess it's no big surprise that I've completely lost it for oh, I don't know...the last two months.

This concept of "having it all" is what always gets me. This struggle is positively never-ending for me. Deep down I KNOW it's not possible to have and do it all and I need to make peace with that, but I'm always doing the opposite. More is more, and less is less. If I am not going full throttle all the time, then I might as well just quit it already.

I am a master juggler. I think most women are.

My role as a wife.

My role as a mother.

My home.

My career.

My goals.

My health/wellbeing business.

Volunteer opportunities.

Social activities.

Juggle.

Juggle.

Juggle.

I really should run my own circus, because sometimes I impress myself with this freakshow of a juggling act I put on.

And then comes the inevitable moment when the bottom falls out and everything is scattered in a thousand different directions, and I am picking up the pieces and silently cursing myself for allowing it to happen. Again. Because it always happens. 

Too much pressure, too much perfectionism. Too much of too much.

I'm trying so hard to do it all that I let things slip.

I have to admit that my juggling act had failed me in a big way. I lost sight of my main vision, my why, my motivation. The rut in which I found myself was deep; and I was stuck. 

First and foremost to suffer was my own health. Workouts fell by the wayside, dinners got a little too convenient (i.e. not the freshest or healthiest), and I lost track of my own accountability. Instead of waking up for my quiet time each morning, I hit the snooze button two or three times and hit the ground running and five minutes late instead.

I've been neglecting my business in its very early baby-stages. Not focusing on who to help, or how to help. All the ideas I had been building up since March have gone POOF! and I find myself feeling less than inspired on building a strong community of mothers and women who build each other up.

I will say this, the day job and my family have not been neglected, so I guess there's that :) It is summer time; time for outside sunny days on the weekends, smiles and pool time, and snuggles that smell like sunscreen. I love this time of the year. If I had to choose between those moments and the time I spend behind a computer screen or my iPhone, I'd absolutely choose the former. But our schedules are busy, and things aren't always rainbows and butterflies. I'd be absolutely out of my mind to think so.

But now I am struggling to reintroduce some balance so I can find my own personal fulfillment in between all of the chaos. 

Mission: Finding Calm in the Crazy is officially a go.

Some things I've promised myself:

-7-8 hours of sleep every night.

-A workout scheduled at least five days a week.

-Waking early enough to create a clear mindset for my day.

-Having dedicated time for buidling my focus on my mission to help others.

-Spending one full weekend day unequivocally dedicated to my family. 

Some things I've got in the works for this space:

-A facelift for the blog. This might happen later rather than sooner.
-More about me as a person.

-Weekly reflections, intentions, and devotionals.

-MORE free challenge groups.

-Monthly 60-day boot camps.

-Support especially for moms.
-Fun things that I enjoy and would recommend.

-A book club devoted to reading books that create the best version of you.

I've been praying for grace, inspiration, and strength, and one day it hit me like a bag of bricks: God put me on this earth to do SOMETHING. I know this. We are all put here to do something. Sharing my weaknesses may help another woman realize that it's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to let the ball drop. It's okay to lose your footing. 

What matters is what happens AFTER you slip.

I also promise this, and I hope you'll make these promises with me:

-I will SLOW down.

-I will lighten up on myself, and others.

-I will stop chasing and trying to make things happen of my own accord, and instead pray that my strengths will develop naturally in a way that allows me to present my best self to others.

-I will quit the juggling freakshow.

Ultimately, this is putting faith in myself and in the plan God has for me. 

To quit trying to have it all, and know it's okay to let it go sometimes. 

To create a vibrant community that shows strength and grace.

So...here's the building each other up, together.