My Health & Fitness Journey - The Beginning

I'm calling this the beginning of my adventure, because it is. I mean, if I'm truly going to be all about the mess in the middle, might as well be honest about it, right?

Let me paint a picture for you:

28 years old. Married mom of one amazing little girl. 9 to 5-er.

That’s me. But there’s also so much more.

Before I met my husband and had my daughter, I was “skinny fat.” I was thin, but I would DEFINITELY not call myself healthy by any means. I ate the wrong things at the wrong times, sometimes even skipped one or two meals a day, and never exercised. I was a binge drinker party animal. I had a lot of very unhealthy habits. I spent my time primping and fussing over my appearance and spent NO TIME caring about how I felt. In my head, looking skinny meant feeling good, but I didn’t realize how misguided I was.

Fast forward a year. I’m pregnant. I spent nine months of pregnancy basically eating anything I felt like eating and hardly exercising. I gained almost 100 pounds. I cringe when I admit this. Even still. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I started developing pre-eclampsia and had my baby a week early via a failed induction and an emergency c-section. I was thrilled to have a healthy baby girl, but disappointed in myself and in my body for failing me when it meant the most.

In August of 2013 my husband and I found out we were pregnant again! We were both so excited, and began telling our daughter about her soon-to-be baby brother or sister, who she promptly decided was a “baby brudder.” Things were going great, and I was due on May 16, 2014. At the 12 week mark, we shared the news with our friends and family. On November 1, 2013, I went into the doctor’s office for routine testing at 13 weeks and was told my baby’s heart stopped beating at 9 weeks and was classified as a “missed miscarriage.” I had a D&E a week later. Here we were again. I had been carrying my baby for a month with no signs of life and my body had failed me again, because I still felt pregnant! I was still feeling all the symptoms of pregnancy! It was the ultimate in unfairness, having a body that has failed me twice, in two very different ways. I was broken.

Fast forward a few more months. My sweet Peyton is a sassy, delightfully rambunctious little lady and mommy is still carrying around some (OK...a lot of) extra weight. We took a family vacation to Disney World in December of 2013. Walking around the park with all my extra weight was stifling. My legs rubbed together and chafed so badly they bled, and it hurt to walk the next day. My feet and legs ached from supporting my weight around the park. I was so bloated and uncomfortable that I cried during lunch that day--yes, crying over lunch in the middle of the happiest place on earth! What was supposed to be a happy time was a brutal reminder that I was simply not healthy.

When we got back on January 2, I told myself and my husband “NO MORE.” I was officially FED UP. I was putting an end to this feeling uncomfortable and unhappy and this time I was getting healthy, not just losing weight. I was doing this for me, for my husband, and for my daughter.

I began eating clean, and lost a few pounds after a few weeks. But I knew I needed to start exercising to really make that difference in the long run.

I contemplated joining a gym, but that wasn’t in the budget. I had joined a gym 2 years prior, but stopped going altogether after three months (and zero results) and wasted almost $500 on a membership contract I didn’t even use. Frustrating. Not to mention, I certainly could not afford personal training, and nothing is worse than wandering solo around a gym with no direction and no clue how to use the equipment to gain the results you need.

So, I started researching at-home workout programs and discovered Beachbody. I was familiar with Insanity and P90X, but knew that I would have to build to those programs (my fitness level was practically zero--I was winded walking up the stairs in my own home!). After settling on Focus: T25, I placed the order and began the program on March 17.

The first week of Alpha was hard (all those burpees? Yeah right, Shaun T!). The second week was much better, but still a struggle. But I was committed. I used the message boards on teambeachbody.com to keep myself accountable and provide motivation to others. I started seeing results, and I was thrilled.

Before: January 2014; After: May 2014

Before: January 2014; After: January 2015

I share the above before and after photos with you because honestly, the last progress photo of any sort was taken back in January. I finished T25 weighing 12 pounds less and down a total of 17 (!!!) inches. I have since completed a few rounds of 21 Day Fix, Les Mills Combat, PiYo, and Insanity Max: 30. 

I am down about 40 pounds since March 2014, but it hasn't been easy. I find myself in ruts, I find myself in a funk, I get bored. Sometimes I'll eat junk, just because it's there. My weight goes does up and down.

A lot of people make more progress than I have in less time. I won't deny that at all. But what I strive for is small steps with a firm belief in my "why". 

Why am I doing this? Why do I pack my food every day for work, and then come home after work and spend a half an hour to an hour every day sweating my tush off in my living room?

I'm doing this for my family. I'm setting the example for my daughter. And guess what? A full-time working mom can make it work. It's not happening overnight, it's not happening in a year and a half. But it's happening, because I've made the conscious decision to do it.

So, with everything, I find myself in the mess in the middle, but certainly wouldn't trade it, and I'm certainly not going back.