Whole30: (FAILED) Lessons on Willpower & Why I'll Try Again

So, the Whole30.

I'm sure you've heard of it, somehow, some way, in the last few years. 30 days straight of eating whole, unprocessed foods and zero sugar, alcohol, grains, legumes, dairy, or really anything that brings any sort of joy to my life.

I've made three attempts at the Whole30 in the last two years.

And I've failed three times, all within the first 14 days.

I don't know why.
I know that eating real food makes me feel good.
I know how good I felt at Days 10 and 11.
I know how great my skin looks when I'm eating in a way that feels right and drinking ALL THE WATER.
And speaking of drinking--I know how crappy I feel the next day even after one or two glasses of wine (ugh, curse you, 30s).

The science behind the Whole30 (seriously, read It Starts With Food) is legit. It makes sense.

But there's just something about that halfway point that has me throwing my hands up in the air and saying "Ahhhh, screw it," and popping the lid on that pint of Ben & Jerry's I know damn well I SHOULD have thrown out before Day 1 even started.

And it's always Ben & Jerry's. Always. And it's so weird because I don't even like ice cream all that much (I know, judge away you haters). When I fall off a wagon, I fall HARD.

Besides, I am a fan of moderation and enjoying all things within reason. You do you, and all that.

But the truth is--I don't really feel like my body is functioning the way that it should. My digestive issues are riiiiiidiculous. I am constantly in a total mind fog. Sleep has been crappy. My clothes fluctuate between fitting "just OK" and "WTF happened to my waistline overnight." My skin is breaking out worse than it did when I was a teenager (although I have suspicions that might be tied to my good friend, the IUD). And I have all the energy of a slug during the day. I'm really not in it to lose weight (but I mean, hooray if that happens), but I just want to feel better.

And I'm like 97.8% sure it has a lot to do with the fact that chocolate has become one of my main food groups and I am running through the Chick Fil A drive-thru more often than I care to admit. Moderation has been blown out the window and replaced by eating all the things, all the time.

So for the sake of accountability and (hopefully) moral support, I boldly declare that yes--Whole30 attempt #4 commences on Tuesday, January 2, 2018.

No cheating.
Going HAM for 30 days.

Dammit.

Now--will someone hold me and tell me this will all be okay, please?

If you are doing a January Whole30, I'd love to know all about it! I'll be posting here weekly (or more often if I feel the need to whine about it), and I'd love to hear how its going for you in the comments and all about your attempts at avoiding SWYPO, your best compliant mayo, and slaying your sugar dragon--because, solidarity.